December 28, 2010 Around 6:30 PM on Facebook Social Networking Site
(interventions marked in bold)
What's on your mind?
Anupam Chakravartty
: welcome to the stalker's paradise!
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Diana Gomes likes this.
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Anupam Chakravartty
and then: "school days, cool days, wtf-you-were- you-doing-on-a Sunday? challenged the constitutionality of this incestuous tradition in bureaucracy, recognised an unmistakable homogeneity and a couple of big words to marinate your ego unde...r a red lamp, traced the faces of farcical keepers of myths circulated by the ravenous messengers of deaths, penned a news column for a bikini dealer, who made bikinis for goats, ended a letter to the sea and sand ... that reminds me of my wasted hands that wants to grow artistanarchistic cauliflowers, dreams of yet another Lockerbie bomber trapped in a space suit that seemed like Event Horizon was a spiritual space hogging monster made by men, sent to space but crashed in to Hollywood. so what the fuck were you doing on a Sunday?"
"O I was hiding from the self centered red faced turnips that grows on my backyard. Rabbits like them, I hate them. Rabbits dont pay taxes. I pay taxes. That makes me a taxpayer. no! not a human yet. dont be mistaken. humans dont work on Sundays. Sabbath is Eurocentric. but Saturn is heliocentric. Saturdays are alcohol centric. But we work on Sundays. Did i tell you today's monday? They say you are allowed to cry on Monday nights thinking about dead babies or kittens, so that tooth fairy pays you a visit. See i told you it was all about tooth fairy visits. No! it wasn't about being in Gujarat and Assam. Nay! not the national kinds. my editor in delhi is the national kind. i am a voyeur. predator of information. footprint of enormous reserves of carbon in my lungs. i speak journalese. no wonder cats do not understand me anymore else it would all make sense. in subscription to the tail of the stalker, i will let it out. more music, more trampled under foot romance to come."See more
17 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Anupam Chakravartty
but you played your music? didn't you?
"Yes i did. i thought there were songs to be sung, boomerangs to be thrown, posters to be pasted. but i have no walls. no clean walls. someone's been making graffiti on my wall. for crying out loud, the...re were no walls. a distinctly subliminal message on my inbox was good enough to get me going for an errand. but it ended there. it was a silent ghost. no it didn't attack me. it didn't move. it stood there brooding over a dead kitten. and then nothing happens. no one calls. no one hears the lullaby manufactured in a toy store. these toy stories include over-sexualised puppets from future dancing to Daft Punk and 1000 Homo DJs. and here, Sheila's adolescence was suddenly a topic of discussion in my town while their overarching post-apocalyptic graphics include flags. and nationality includes armed insurrections. but strangely, inclusive growth eludes. so past participle for that lingering feeling is called hooked. his infancy ridiculed and rescued at the same time. matured thoughts need raw reflections to further the case of 'fertilizing daffodils'. enough for the friendly little stalker with high anxiety in his/her hormone. play stations are better. play space stations will give you a power trip depending on which side of the world you are at. if you are in India, it doesn't go beyond Ionosphere. If you are in Russia, your payload is not enough. If you are in Iran, then forget about it. North Korea is a lie. U.S. is trying to rescue NASA from open source seekers. Richard Branson will be taking you for a ride. no future cannot be predicted by this close analysis of your facebook updates for one year, FB would not process your Hindi updates. they think its parochial. so is Bejan Daruwalla. he is afflicted by the parochial understanding of the cosmic agony that people face especially when time announces its yearly shift. Vishwa Hindu Parishad will not bust your new year party but they may bust you for your ideas. they all follow Gregorian calender but still that doesn't make them gregarious. what to do? VHP is from moon. you are from mars. i was assigned Venus but they called it feminine. earth belongs to no one. that bit about your carbon footprint makes you a polluter so don't be so happy. grow your food. next year is apocalypse. we would hear the sound first, then the fury. this is not Bejan Daruwalla predicting. this is the proverbial egg yolk that just melted on my pan. it is still a Monday so things can change."See more
16 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Anupam Chakravartty
concerning recently diagnosed diseases:
"Phil-har-mo-ny: Earlier it was called oribarmy. But then we realised how difficult it is to come up with a new word in this shrinking linguistic universe terrorized by pot-bellied lexicographers who have sold their soul to the devil viz. the mobile phone companies. so apparently, they chose 'phil' from syphillis, and harmony from a certain college's annual cake baking festival. there were other suggestions as well. a prominent choice was 'philanderer'. but then we already had 'syphilis'. 'philanderer' could be considered as secondary for the creation of 'phil-harmony'. but it is a disease. somehow, the word sounds more malign than any other tumour afflicting the cheeks of a recently botoxed herbivore superstar. doctors say that it is a random dedication to the music one likes. on working days, the disease manifests itself in its true form. the slave's painful groins make him log on to Youtube and post the first song that comes to his mind. while the master hurls the choicest of his/her abuses to the slave, the slave defies all the norms. the patient (the slave) fantasizing his freedom, drifts to this parallel world that is defined by the screen and a pair of headphones.
it is a pity that anxiety is just a symptom and not a disease. Anxiety, because as soon as he posts the video, he/she waits for someone to say 'Like'. he/she would use 'alt + tab' to switch between MS word and his page. so yes there is an end here somewhere but one needs to find it. it is clearly not a sign of frustration. it is just some kind of immediate, urgent freedom from this cubicle existence. one doesn't mind going back to a cubicle. they had to concede: a philharmonic needs his music like he/she needs a womb. he/she sleeps in foetal position listening to his headphones because there is no other truth apart from what he is listening to. Phil har mony is incurable."See more
14 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Diana Gomes
"so past participle for that lingering feeling is called hooked." -i like that, it goes down in my book of quotes :)
"no wonder cats do not understand me anymore else it would all made sense".- not true entirely.. i think they can they just... choose not to :p "earth belongs to no one." - quite a thought that one is. it makes me feel good somehow but there are loads that have yet to understand it. "difficult it is to come up with a new word in this shrinking linguistic universe terrorized by pot-bellied lexicographers who have sold their soul to the devil viz. the mobile phone companies" - liam and i were just having a conversation about coming up with words... inventing rather, those that don't already exist in the oxford version of the dictionary. just a coincidence.See more
13 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Diana Gomes the welcoming note is a tad creepy but it's a super interesting read.
13 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Katharina Felidea Rich why stalker´s paradies?
10 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Anupam Chakravartty Paradise is notional :)
9 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Anupam Chakravartty gomes: thanks for the cake. "no wonder cats do not understand me anymore else it would all made sense" comes from the movie Kiki's Delivery Service, when Kiki's friend forgets how to talk to humans.
9 hours ago · LikeUnlike
